My Heart Bleeds for Newtown CT

I have shed many tears since Friday. MANY. I can't, in my right mind, put together the complete and total utter loss the Newtown, Connecticut community is going through right now. I mean, I can't make sense of it period. I can't imagine the pain and heartbreak the parents and siblings of the children lost, the family members plus surviving students of the school staff and the emergency responders who had to witness the gruesome crime are dealing with right now. I can't fathom it. I can politely say I feel your pain, sure I could say that... I've unexpectedly lost my brother, friends, grandparents... but how could you possibly feel the soul shattering loss of 20 innocent children and 6 adults who did nothing less than try to protect the children under their wings?

You can't.

I can't.

Unless you are in their shoes, it's impossible.

It all comes down to this, I have a 7 year old boy in First Grade, so this has all hit close to home which is why it's rattled me so. Since Friday all I could do was think about what if it was him? What if I lost him like this?

And I'll admit, I'm scared.

I was scared to let him go to school today. I'll be scared tomorrow. And probably the day after that. And people will say, you're letting the fear get into your head. Welp, yeah... I am. If something like this can happen in a quiet community like Newtown, CT who's to say some random crazy won't bust their way through my sons school and do the same thing? His school is 3 stories tall, but he's on the first floor closest to the doors. And the last time I checked, there's not a mandatory police officer there protecting the school like there is at the middle schools and high schools. I'm sure there is today, but how long with that last? A week? A month? Until this has died down and we forget about the loss? Or how about until it's quiet enough for the next random shooter to feel comfortable that we've let our guard down enough for their plans to be successful?

These are all questions that I'm sure run through the minds of parents world wide. I know I'm not the only one to be scared. But who do we have to beg to make this stop? What are our solutions? People everywhere have their own opinions on what we could do, and I'm not necessarily wanting to open that can of worms here, but this HAS GOT TO QUIT. Not just in the schools, but in public places... movie theaters, shopping malls, etc. These are places we are supposed to feel free, places we are supposed to enjoy and not feel threatened.

It's senseless.

It's tragic.

It's beyond heartbreaking.

Whatever solution you feel is right in your own mind, just remember to love the ones around you first and foremost. Without your loved ones, life is a big bowl of emptiness.

xoxox,