Before anything comes my children, and when my children need help, advice or love their Dad and I are always there to support them. In the case of my goofy 13 year old, we recently decided to stick by his side in a sticky situation.
Last school year my son was physically and verbally bullied relentlessly by a child smaller than him. My son, being the kind and gentle soul that he is, ignored the other child and went through the ranks at the school to get the bullying resolved. Even by the end of the year the school totally dropped the ball after we had contacted them numerous times. So finally we told our son..... Listen, there is no reason that another person young or old should put their hands on you, speak to you in a negative and demeaning manor in a way where your already fragile negative self-esteem will deepen because of their ignorance. We told him that after all the failed reaching out he was doing at the school if it happened again to take matters into his own hands. Now, we don't condone senseless violence or starting fights in school, but we will support defending ones self if they are attacked physically.
So our son listened to us.
One week into school beginning, this child started again with my son. He was behind my son kicking his feet trying to get him to fall all the while (pardon me for being frank) was calling him a faggot and gay and saying "Oh look, he's crying!" when he was actually wiping sweat from his brow. Now, my son kept a steady head and carried on his conversation with his friend while walking down the hall. Just another day as usual. Until he was kicked one too many times and decided to finally stand up for himself.
My son turned around, pushed this child as hard as he could and yelled, "If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to put you on your ass!" The child fell back into his friends, threw out the *oh my god I'm totally embarrassed but I'm going to act like a cool guy* "ooooo I'm so scared!" At that point my son turned around and walked directly to the principal and told him exactly what happened. He basically tattled on himself.
Then came the punishment and where my flesh begins to crawl.
After all the bullying... after all the dealing with the abuse from this child...
My son was treated as the bully and the other child was the victim.
And the punishment reflected exactly that. My son was suspended from school for 3 days while the other child received 2 days in school suspension.
Why you ask?
Because "it was a new year and my son didn't start over by telling a teacher before he resorted to violence". What makes them think that after a full year of trying to get them to listen he would go back to them again? Then I got the referral slip today and was amazed that the principal jotted the whole thing out and it was one big lie. My son "had a verbal confrontation with the child before pushing him down." No sir, my son was ignoring him and being physically attacked, but in your eyes it doesn't constitute violence.
In the end, this will all be taken care of. We will go to the board, we take the means necessary to make a point to this school where they have failed at protecting their children and sending them an unhealthy message of bullying is ok.
So I'm sharing this with you because I know some of you are parents to the most precious things in your lives... you wonderful children. Love them, cherish them, be their rock when they need a strong foundation...
My son.... my silly military guru... my "hey my face looks like my shirt" comedian... my Harry Potter fan... my beautiful "May the schwartz be with you." goofball.... Know that I will always support and love you and will fight for you until the day I die. You make me so... so proud.